These are the days of our lives...

The last month has been crazy.  Between an ER visit for a possible concussion on Dalton, Doctor's appointments for being sick on all of the boys, a fractured hand and a bout in the hospital for me; it has been nuts in our house.  My poor husband has been a trooper through all of this.  But things are slowly getting back to normal, and despite the pain, tears, and mounting doctor bills, I have learned a few valuable lessons through all of this.
Lesson 1: I am extremely slightly paranoid when it comes to the health of my children.  I always worry that every little thing, if not treated by a professional immediately, will lead to something far worse, and I will only have myself to blame.  While this is true to an extent, I do need to exercise more caution before assuming the worst.

Lesson 2:  I have an amazing support group around me.  I knew this all along, but really got a refresher course over the last month.  All of my friends, family, and colleagues, really rally around me in times a need, and I do not think I could go through everything without them.

Lesson 3: I am so blessed.  While the last couple of months were trying to say the least, in the grand scheme of things I am SO fortunate in life and really have no room to complain as I have been extremely blessed.  (not saying that I won't/don't complain, just saying I shouldn't)

Lesson 4:  I have more will-power than I thought.  For too long I have used my life (work, kids, family, etc...) as an excuse not to do things.  I was always too lazy busy to exercise, too selfish broke to eat healthy, etc....  But I finally sat down and had a long talk with myself. (And man can I be chatty)  I realized that I am not doing myself or my family any favors by not taking care of myself.  I cannot be the mom/wife/friend/Manager/daughter/sister that I want and need to be if I am always sick, or depressed because of my weight, or whatever the situation is.  So I have been soda free for a month today (Kicked a 6 pack of soda a day habit), I have limited my processed foods A LOT, I am drinking only water, eating mostly organic, and making sure to get in all of my servings of fruits and veggies a day.  And I feel great.  I really do.  I know it is a long process, but I am now doing things I thought I could never do.  YAY ME!!!!

Lesson 5: With 3 small boys in the house, you better have good insurance. :)

So enough about me, I have to brag on my kids for a minute (they are the reason I started this blog)  Dakota is in 1st grade and is reading at a 3rd grade level with 100% retention.  He just started the cub scouts and I think he will love it, plus it is an excellent way for him and his daddy to bond.  Dillon is growing bigger and bigger.  He is also so smart and SO caring.  He is always worried about how his mommy is and is so loving.  He is also a pretty good big brother to Dalton.  Ah, Dalton.  Where to begin with him.  His vocabulary is expanding daily, although unless you are with him daily, you probably cannot understand most of it.  He is the cutest damn kid you will ever see in your life.  Hands down.  But he is definitely crazy moody destructive daring mean mischievous active.  I am hoping as he gets older he will calm down a bit.  I love that kid to death but he does make it difficult to do even the simplest of things like cook dinner, watch TV, talk on the phone, go to the bathroom.

So that is the latest happenings in my world.  It is not exciting, not funny, but it is my life and it is wonderful.

Parents Just Don't Understand

I thought parenting would get easier! Maybe not easier, but at least not make me feel like a total dumbass every day. Just when I think I have something figured out, the kids throw me a curveball and I realize that I do not know what the hell I am doing.


There really needs to be classes for this. Every day I am presented with a new battle, situation, question, etc… that I am not sure how to handle. While I am tempted to say, “Go ask your dad.” Or something like that, DH is just as clueless as I am sometimes. In fact, I am so perpetually clueless that my six year old knows when he has stumped me and will reply with, “Do you want me to get your computer so you can Google it?” Seriously, Google is my parenting Yoda.

I realize that I would be a horrible teacher, because I cannot seem to effectively communicate the most basic of things. I never thought I would have to explain to someone why playing in their poo is a bad idea, why eating crayons is not nutritional, why you cannot paint your brother, why spaghettios do not go on the floor, how dangerous it is to eat money, and while we encourage creativity, why it is not acceptable to draw on our furniture with markers. I did not know these things would come up. I thought there were some basics that were just wired in our systems somewhere. I truly thought that “because I said so” would be a sufficient answer and they would just move on. I guess my first parenting mistake was believing that my children would mind me, all of the time.

I have tried many parenting techniques and they all seem to only work occasionally or with certain children. One of my favorites is the shaming. Catch the little one doing something he shouldn’t, “Jesus is watching you.” Or tell them “That makes mommy cry, do you want to make mommy sad?” Ok, so I know it is not the best method but seemed to work for a bit, and was an effective tool for letting me be able to parent, without parenting. I mean, I am not trying to get out of my parental responsibilities but sometimes I feel so unprepared, and my only training would be how I interacted with my sister when she was little, and that was the crap I did to her. (of course, it did not work then either)

Or I try to turn into super strict mom and just ground them from everything and expect them to learn their lesson and move on. Yeah, not so much. There are few reasons why this does not work. 1. Little ones do not care if they are grounded. I mean I cannot make them sit in the corner all day, and when push comes to shove, they can play all day long without the tv, without toys, and without friends. They have each other and they have their imaginations. 2. When they decide they are bored with each other, who do they expect to entertain them? Me, that’s who! Do not get me wrong, I love playing with my children, but not all of the damn time. So essentially when you ground your kids, you ground yourself. If they are grounded from the tv, then so am I. If they cannot go to a friend’s house, then that means they are under my feet constantly.

Sometimes I feel like I am their puppet. Like they have the strings and are constantly following me saying “dance, Mommy, Dance.” I am not trying to bitch about this. It is not nearly as horrible as it sounds I suppose, but it does make me feel like a complete assbag. I just feel so lost on what the right thing to do is. I was never one of those girls that dreamt of when she got married and had babies. It is not that I did not want to I guess, it is just that I never thought of it. I guess I just assumed it would happen one day, so I never spent a lot of time focusing on it. And then BAM! Between 2003-2010 I became a wife, and the mother to 3 BOYS and I never really gave myself a chance to “learn the ropes” first. All I really learned is that I suck at birth control. But I always thought that my parenting philosophy would be that if you just loved them enough and gave them the space, that they would make the right decisions. I just thought it would all feel a little more natural. I mean, I am a mom, shouldn’t I be programmed with some of this information naturally and long to do nothing but me a mother?

If so, then I am a freak, because that is not me at all. I love my children, man do I ever, to the point that it physically hurts sometimes, and I know that I want to keep them safe at all costs. I know I want them to have high self esteem and be happy, honorable, and kind men one day, but I have no idea how to get them from here to there.

So until I figure it out, if I ever figure it out, I will continue to be a manic mommy, desperately trying to teach my kids how to live right, just Because I Said So.

Paging Dr. Mom

My kids have been sick off and on for like a week now. I have been working double duty at work. If it were not for my husband helping and my mom pulling a lot of the load, I think I would have cracked by now.

But the kicker is that after enduring all of that, the husband is running a low fever and now the world has come to an end. You would think that he is suffering from malaria or some incurable disease. He wallows on the couch moaning, "I'm Dying, I'm Dying", requests that I take his temp every 15 minutes. SERIOUSLY!?! I do not mind taking care of him, actually I love it, to an extent. What I do not need is for him to act more helpless than my children when they are sick. (And the kids actually are helpless to take care of themselves.)

I think I have finally figured out why my husband suddenly turns into a baby when he is sick. When he was little and he got sick, what did he want? Yep, his Mommy! And since his mom is 3 hours away, he is settling for the next best thing...yep, ME! (And I have to admit, when I am sick, I want my mommy too, but I do not project that onto him) I am sure most have you have had this thought before, but I just wanted to put my little bitch session on the subject out in cyberspace too!

Truly I do not mind taking care of him, it is not often I get the chance, but sometimes I want to junk punch him and really give him something to cry about.

An open letter to my children from my “Sex Life”

Dear kids,

I hope this letter finds you well.  Actually, I know it does.  “How do I know that?” you may ask.  Well kids, as much as no one likes to think that their parent’s have a sex life, they once did.  That is why you kids are here.  And I know that you are doing well because you are now so ingrained in your parents’ lives that I virtually do not exist anymore.

I used to be your average sex life, kids.  I had hopes and dreams.  I mean your parents, whoa, I remember this one time when they….well never mind,  I will save that for when you are older.  But life was great.  And then you come along.  Now I am but a distant memory.  Your mother no longer has time for me because you keep her so busy.  When I want to come out and play, she tells me no because there is laundry to do, dishes to clean, homework to finish, floors to sweep, and butts to wipe.  She barely manages to find time to shower, much less show me any attention.

Do you know how that makes me feel?  Alone.  Desolate.  Forgotten.  I know you do not understand those words, but one day you will have children, and you will.  And I know what you are thinking.  You spend the night at your grandparents occasionally and give your mom and dad some alone time and I should be able to accept that little bit of freedom and be happy about it.  You would think that wouldn’t you?  But NOOOOOOOOO.  When they are free from the constant demands of you, they often find themselves so deflated that they just go to bed.  Can you believe that they go to bed?  All alone in the house and go to sleep (Or even worse read a book.)  They do not consider how I feel.  (Well I think your dad is very concerned about my feelings, but is so tired of being rejected that he keeps it to himself.)

Or they make plans to get you little life drainers out of the house because they have plans.  Like real plans around other adults.  WOOHOO that should be my shining moment.  Especially if your dad slips your mom a Jager Bomb.  PARTY TIME.  Wait, what, no?  Can’t handle their liquor anymore?  What?!? They have to go home early because they have to pick you guys up early for baseball?  How did this happen?  You, that is how.  You have sucked away my entire existence. 

But do not feel sorry for me little ones, no.  Because one day you will be older, more self sufficient, and I will return.  I will awaken in your mother again with a force you cannot yet imagine.  And then I will rub it in your face.  Every time your parents kiss, hold hands, exchange coy glances or disappear to bed early, I will make sure you are aware of it.  I will fill all of your senses with my presence and remind you that it is your fault for making your mom keep me chained in so long. 

You will complain and moan and decidedly will need therapy because of it, but remember, you only have yourself to blame.

Sincerely,

Non-existent sex life, once belonging to your parents

I am going crazy...care to join me?

So lately I have been feeling torn about my life. Sometimes I feel like I am fraudulently leading 3 different lives and trying to pass them off as one symbiotic existence. I have the “Career” side of me (Let’s call her Susan), the “mother/wife” side of me (We will call her June), and the “youthful” side of me (She goes by Charlie). I would like them all to be one person, Rachel. But they are not. Not. Even. Close.
Susan would like nothing more than to work 60 hours a week and break the glass barrier. Susan takes charge of meetings, produces reports at lightening fast speed, and is always finding ways to save the company money or ways to do things better. Basically Susan kicks ass and takes names. You do not want to mess with Susan, just step aside and let her rise to the top. If only.
Every time Susan really thinks she is on the right track, June reminds Susan that she should feel ashamed for spending so much time and energy on her job when she has a household to run. June reminds Susan that her life/dreams/goals/needs are now secondary to that of her family, and that she needs to be satisfied with earning a paycheck and not want a career. June makes a lot of sense. June is supposed to worry about etiquette, manners, safety, cleanliness (it is next to Godliness right?) and being a good wife. After all, this is why she got married and had children right?
Charlie steps in then and reminds Susan and June that life is about living. That there is a world out there that needs exploring. There are rivers to cross, mountains to climb, and barriers to break. There is always a keg that needs tapped and a shot that needs taken. Charlie boasts that we should be the life of the party while we are still young, (30 is still young right?)
This internal struggle goes on constantly, with two always fighting against one.
I struggle with trying to be the best at everything, but so far have just succeeded in being “average in all 3 areas”. What tha…..? It always boils down to guilt. To the expectations I have placed on Susan, June and Charlie. Expectations that cannot reasonably be lived up to, at least not by Rachel.
I have tried to analyze where the guilt comes from, and it stems from many places, with each equally holding a fraction of the blame. I think a lot of women struggle with this, but it is not often talked about. So I have decided that starting today, I am going to rid myself of some of this guilt. There is no reason that Susan cannot put all she has into her career, while still working reasonable hours, and screw you if you think it is negligent to her family. And June can be the wife and mother she wants to be, not what she feels pressured to be. She can leave toys on the floor, make horrible dinners, and just play with her children and love them, and love her husband, without feeling the need to be perfect. Judge not and all of that crap. And Charlie can still come out every now and then and drink a beer (or 4 shots) without feeling guilty as long as Susan and June are still able to successfully cover for Charlie’s indiscriminate behavior.
Why the hell should I care what other people think? But I do, and even as I type this I am having an anxiety attack because I said “ass” and mentioned drinking, and what will the people who read this (all five of you ha) think of me? Drats. Maybe I am not the “let loose of the guilt all at once” type of girl. But one day. Slowly. I will learn that the people in my life who truly love me and whom I should be concerned about love Susan, Charlie, June, and most importantly Rachel.

Once there were 3 ladies

Once there were 3 ladies
As different as they could be
They had nothing in common
And all had different dreams

One longed to have a career
That would make her family proud
One she could brag about
And would surely draw a crowd

One longed to raise her family
To be the best that they could be
3 kids, a husband, and a perfect home
She was the mother to be envied

The other wanted to have fun
And live life to the fullest
If ever there was a Queen of the party
Surely she was the coolest

Once there were 3 ladies
As different as they could be
They had nothing in common
Except they all were me
~RNP 2010

***All names have been changed to protect the innocent.
***Author is not “technically” insane and does not suffer from multiple personality disorder. She enjoys every minute of it.

Just 'cause she dances Go-Go, that don't make her a Ho, NO

So I have been taking Pole Aerobics classes, and let me tell you that they are kicking my ass.  It is a great workout and I am learning a lot of things, but man am I sore.  There are days the Husband has to push me out of bed because I cannot even get up.  I am covered in bruises, and quite frankly, I am not feeling any sexier.  That being said, I LOVE THE HELL OUT OF THESE CLASSES. 
It is not pole dancing, it is pole aerobics.  I am learning tricks on the pole and using them as exercise.  We do crunches, squats, lunges, and all kinds of other things that you cannot imagine.  It is fun, so it does not seem like a workout.  Ok that is a lie.  There are parts that feel like a workout.  The squats and crunches:TORTURE.  I guess I should remind everyone out there that I am a complete d-bag when it comes to working out.  I whine worse than my children.  The last class I told the instructor that I hated her a few times, tried to bribe her to stop the pain, and at one point sat down and refused to participate.  I am a tool.  But at the end of the day I appreciate her pushing me, and am thankful for all I have learned.  But for that hour while she is trying to make my body bend in ways it doesn't and is pushing me harder than I have ever been pushed, I would like to tie her to the pole by her labia and force her to listen to endless hours of Nickleback and Creed. 
Here are some benefits to the classes: 1) My husband definitely does not mind forking out the money for these classes as he blindly believes it will lead to some forking for him later on.  2)  It encourages me to workout on days that I am not in class and I feel motivated to finally lose the pregnancy weight (can I still call it that after so long?!!?)  3) it is a fun way to exercise and 4) It definitely is a great conversation starter.  "Me?  Oh the workout clothes, and the bruises that cover my body?  Oh I have just been pole dancing, no biggie"  5) It is a great way to spend time with girlfriends
Here are some cons:  1) It can get pricey and going more than once a week is not really option for me at this point  2) The classroom is wall to wall mirrors and the only thing worse than hanging from a pole is being forces to look at my pastey white ass hanging from the pole  3)  It has set me up for some unrealistic expectations from the husband
So obviously the pros outweigh the cons, and this blog was written for the sole purpose of encouraging other ladies to look into these classes.  They are amazing and will really change your life, whether you are looking to lose weight, get fit, or get sexy! 

Visit their website if you are interested:
http://www.vepolefitness.com/

 

If only I had a crystal ball...

Now I know you may find this hard to believe, but I am not a perfect parent, far from it, but I know what I want my children to be like as adults, and I try my hardest to teach them those things.  While I obviously want them to be healthy, happy, blah blah blah....the normal things parents want, I also want other more oddly specific things for them.
I want them to be self confident.  When you have a high self esteem, the world really is your oyster.  I have struggled with low self esteem and it can make you do things you do not want to do or not do things you do want to do.  I have always wanted to be that person that just says "Eff it.  This is me, and if you do not like it, bite me."  And while I say that, I do not really mean it.  I really mean "I am very insecure about myself and I desperately want you to like me."  I do not want my children to be that way.
I want them to have a sense of humor.  Not just be able to make a joke, but to take jokes too.  I am the funniest person I know, and I hope they take after me.
I want them to stay current on world events.  I find it extremely difficult to have conversations with people who do not know/care what is going on around them, and I want more than that for my boys.  While I am not obsessed with CNN or Fox News, I do try to stay current on major events from politics to pop culture.  Obviously they are too little now, but when they are grown I want them to know what is going on in the world as well as what D List celebrity just overdosed or got caught getting out of a car without any undergarments on.  It helps you be able to hold a conversation in different settings.
I want them to demonstrate compassion for others.  I was always taught to have joy in your life you must rank the importance of things in your life as Jesus - Others - Yourself, and I still believe that.  Nothing is more deplorable than those who are unable to feel compassion for strangers and those around them.
I want them to take ownership.  We all know those people who "cannot seem to catch a break" and it is never their fault.  Someone else is always the cause for their problems or pain.  At some point you have to have some sort of self awareness and think "What am I doing to contribute to my situation in a positive or negative way?"  Luckily for me, I have a large family who is more than willing to let you know when it is your fault (I actually think they enjoy it) and I appreciate that very much.  (On a side note, I do not want to be one of those parents who think that their child can do no wrong.  I want to be able to look at a situation for what it truly is, and while admitting that my child is wrong, does not mean that I will not support them or still love them just as much. )

I would much rather they are the person being picked on than the bully.  My husband strongly disagrees with me on this point.  While I do not want them to be in either situation, and I certainly do not wish upon them to be tortured by school bullies, I do have a reason for my madness.  First, as much as it hurts me even now to imagine them being bullied, it hurts me even more to think about them being the one inflicting that kind of pain on someone else.  I know that my boys will be strong minded and could handle whatever any bully throws at them, and will have our support no matter what.  There are other kids out there who are alone in the world, with no support group, and the thought of one of my boys doing something to make those kids feel even more alone, kills me inside.  I was often bullied in elementary and middle school for my hair, my crazy teeth, my height, being too skinny (Man, would I love to have that problem again), and for being an all-around dork.  It was not until my athleticism caught up to me that the bullying stopped.  I came into my own and found my place in the school hierarchy, and it was because of that bullying that I became stronger, more tolerant, and learned to not pick on those who are less fortunate.  (Also, my parents taught me all of those things as well from an early age.)  It was when I could unbraid my hair after a long day at school and on the bus, find the hidden treasures that people stuck in my braids (gum wrappers, pennies, notes telling me to kill myself, etc…) and only feel empathy for them and how sad their lives must be to have nothing better to do than to pick on me, that I knew I would be ok, and better because of it all.

Now if only there were a manual to show me how to ensure that my children grow to have all of these qualities.  I know that I do not always make the best decisions as a parent (What? Like I am the only parent who has ever threatened to junk punch their kid for throwing a tantrum?!?), and I have to learn from my mistakes, but man there are not enough words to express how much I love those boys and the joy they bring to my life.  While they bring a lot of stress, chaos, and make having a wine night with my girlfriends more of a necessity that a desire, they also make me feel so loved and amazing.  To watch them grow and mature is the most amazing thing ever.  If nothing else, when all is said and done, I hope that above all else they know how much I love them and how blessed I am to have them in my life. 

How to be a good wife

I find that with a full time job and three small kids, it is easy to get so wrapped up in being a mommy and a career woman, that I forget to be a wife. Or even sometimes confuse being a mother with a wife. They are not the same thing. I am very fortunate to have a wonderful husband that supports me and the children and is very laid back and easy going. I am so fortunate that sometimes I forget that because he does not complain, that he does not have needs or desires that need met. I forget that maybe he misses his wife/partner/friend and needs a little bit of the "old days" back in his life. I am not talking strictly sexual here, I am talking about that Best Friend he used to have in me. The person who listened to him and cared for him. As I reflect back, I find that lately when he comes to me, I greet him with what bills need paid, what kids need punished, what the changes to the family calendar are, how I need help with chores, and sex?!? Forget about it. That is just one more thing on my "To do" list.
But that is not fair of me. I feel like I carry the world on my shoulders, but why is that? Have I asked him for help or for his input on how things can run more smoothely? Have I asked him what I can do for him to help him with being a full time daddy and full time career man (The hardest working man I know, might I add). And have I told him how proud I am of him for the wonderful man he has become and the amazing father he is? NO!! I let my goals, visions, anxiety, and fears take the front seat and left him hanging on to the tailpipe, just trying to catch a ride.
So I came across a campaign on how to be a better wife. I have missed some of the activities since I discovered it late, but I am going to pick up where I can now, and I encourage all of you to do the same. It is the least we can do for the men in our lives.


How to be a better wife:

June 28 – Ask your husband every morning how you can pray for him that day. Bonus: Fast and pray for him one day this week.

July 12 – Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask him to prioritize them for you of what is important to him. For example – a clean home, home cooked dinner, coupon clipping, service at church, having friends over for dinner, watching/doing sports with him, etc.

July 19 – Make him a priority. Ask him what his favorite dinner, dessert and drink are. Be sure to serve him all three one night this week. Bonus: cook his favorite dishes all week long! (Chicken Casserole, Chinese food and burgers, here we come!!)

July 26 – Support his vision. Discuss his vision for your family. Where does he see your family in 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years.

August 2 – R-E-S-P-E-C-T! No complaining, criticizing, rolling your eyes, nagging, or giving him any friction this week. Enjoy a week of peace in your home! (No friction at home- yay! Except, maybe in between the sheets, if you know what I mean! Wink, wink!)

6 year old attitudes

How do you teach your child the difference between being funny and being rude? Or when something is funny or when it is being disrespectful? Dakota is having a hard time with this. I know he is not trying to be disrespectful, but he is. He thinks he is funny. As someone who has had the same problem my entire life, I am still not sure how to coach him. There are many times when I think I am being HIGHlarious, but others find it offensive.
So I have tried just reprimanding him when he acts this way so that maybe he will learn, but he is so sensitive. He got in trouble for his mouth twice this morning, and he was grounded. He wrapped himself in the covers and said "I wish I was never alive on this planet!" and the inner mom in me came out and I replied "If you keep acting up and saying things like that, I will give you a reason to not want to be alive on this planet!" What the..... Why would I say that? It certainly did not help the situation, yet it came out of my mouth before I could stop it. While I am not a traditional parent, and I often tell my children to "Shut their pie holes," I typically am not one to resort back to those old cliches. I try hard to not say things like "Because I said so" or "because I am the parent, that's why," but sometimes they are the only appropriate responses.
I have found shaming to be a powerful parenting tool (don't judge me) and will say "Jesus is watching you and that makes him sad" or "when you act that way it makes mommy sad, do you want Mommy to cry?" I am sure Dr. Phil would have a lot to say about that. Well, that has been my morning so far, if you do not like it, you can shut your pie hole.

?!?!?!?!

What do you do when your two year old has a temper tantrum at the ballpark, and bitch slaps you twice in the face and then spits on you? I went with the cursing under the breath, threatening spankings for when we were no longer in the public eye, and then finally dumped a bottle of water on his head. I am not sure why that seemed appropriate but it did. Dalton is normally a little "head strong" but this was downright defiant and it really caught me off-guard. I was "That parent" all of the sudden and I did not like that feeling one bit.

How could this cute little face, cause so much trouble?

Chaotic....party of 5

Well I have finally updated again. I know it is probably futile since I have only 3 followers, but it feels good to post. I would love to blog semi-daily but it is hard to find the time. I am going to try to do better though. Lately we have been super busy with Dillon and Dakota both playing baseball. We spend at least 4 days at the ballpark. It is a lot of fun to watch them play, but this has been a hot summer so Dalton is not a big fan of hanging out at the ballpark.

Our house is slightly chaotic right now because all of three of the boys are at precarious ages. Dakota is 6 1/2 (very important to remember the 1/2) and is starting to get a little bit of an attitude. He has always been my sensitive one, but now he is adding attitude to the list. He has a hard time distinguishing between what is funny, what is rude, and what would be funny as an adult but is rude coming from a six-year-old. He is also starting to get a little frustrated with his little brothers and their lack of interest in things he likes, or when they have too much interest in things he likes. He is excited about starting the 1st grade in the fall. He is also a little water bug and loves to swim. He would do it all day everyday if he could. He is fearless on the diving board. He is also the one that is most like me at his age, and some like me now :) He loves movies, video games, and board games, and except for swimming would rather be inside playing a game, than outside. He cannot stand to disappoint someone or hurt their feelings. He is creative and smart and really knows how to manipulate me ;)

Dillon is 4 years old and for the Parrott boys that can be the equivalent of the terrible twos. He is ornery and defiant. He is also loving and kind. He is starting to come into his own and develop his own personality apart from his brothers. He loves to be outside and playing. He is also a water bug. He learned how to swim yesterday thanks to Carrie Thomas, and he is really excited about that. He is a big helper when it is time to clean up. He is also is a great helper for Marmee and Poppa working in the yard. He even helps Poppy build things. He is obsessed with bubble gum and it has become a useful tool in bribery. He reminds me a lot of how Dennis' parents say he was when he was little. He also tans like his dad. He is so dark, it makes me jealous. He loves playing sports, running around, and just being active. He also loves curling up in a ball in your lap when he is tired.

Dalton will be two at the end of next month, and whoa, he is a wild man. He is always into something. He is always making messes. While you are cleaning up one mess he is making another. He is definitely the most defiant. He does not like the water or swimming, which makes going to the pool difficult. He fights bedtime like we were sending him to the torture chamber, but when he falls asleep he is out cold (and snores.) He has the most beautiful blond hair and blue eyes. And his smile will melt your heart. He is really talking up a storm lately. He just makes me crazy though how he does not mind. He tells us no and if he gets a spanking, he spanks back. I am still trying to find a discipline method that works on him and teaches better behavior. I know a lot of it is my fault for giving into his demands in order to avoid the tantrums. I know that is not the proper way to handle things but with our lives being so chaotic, it was the easier choice. I know, I know it is not the right choice and now I am paying for it. And it is not Dalton's fault that he is the youngest of three kids. I welcome any advice on dealing with a head strong two year old.

So all of that to say that I have to adapt my parenting style with each kid. What works with one does not work with the others. It is a strange thing being a parent. No one ever tells you about the overwhelming amounts of guilt that come with parenting. I worry that every mistake or choice I make will negatively impact them. Most parents start college funds, but I have "psychiatric funds" for the boys. I feel like I mess up so much that they will get more use out of therapy than college. (I kid, I kid) Sometimes I feel that by working I am short changing them on life, but other times I feel like I am a better parent when I work. I do not know why I even think about the pros and cons of being a WM and a SAHM because I have no choice. Our family relies on my income in addition to my husbands. Also, it makes me feel important. I want my boys to know that women can have roles outside of the home and that I can be just as successful as a man. I think it is important to teach the boys how to respect women. (***NOTE: I in no way am insinuating that being a SAHM is not a respectful role, hard role, or extremely important. I did it for a year and it was more than I could handle. I think it is a strong woman who can stay at home full-time, and I consider it a career. It is just not the right career for me....right now)

So that is it for now. I am hoping to get my blog a little more attention and hear from other mothers of young children on how they handle the daily battles, and from mothers of grown children who have been in my shoes. I would also like to hear from fathers about the role they play in the household. Gone are the days of men working and bringing in the money and leaving the rest to their wives. I know some families still function that way, but Dennis and I have taken a more non-traditional approach in a lot of areas. He is just as active as I am with the boys. While I am the one who makes dinner and he is the one who always takes out the trash (eventually) we have chosen those duties for ourselves and never felt as they were assigned chores based on our gender. When Dennis is home he does just as much diaper changing as I do, and he has probably handled bath time more than I have. He goes to school plays, PTO meetings, class parties, and anything else the boys are involved in. He is an amazing father and I am very fortunate to have him in my life. We compliment each other well. While we are not perfect parents, we do give the boys unconditional love and try to teach them how to be good human beings and Christians, and I think that at the end of the day, that is what is important.

Ok well peace out blogosphere. Hopefully I will be talking to you soon, and hopefully next time be a little funnier, a little more insightful, and actually have a point!

Birthday Party

So I am going crazy trying to make sure that everything is perfect for Dakota's 6th birthday party this weekend. Working hard to get the house spotless (which is relatively easy compared to keeping it that way). If I had the money I would put us in a hotel room for the week so that we could not mess up the house. Of course if I had that kind of money I could just get a housekeeper.
The theme of the party is Ben 10. So I have bought all of the Ben 10 supplies, ordered the cake, and even printed off pictures from the show and my dear friend Kate laminated them. I am cutting those up and hanging them around as decorations.
Of course I still have to make all of the goody bags, but that is hard when you do not have a firm RSVP count. There is also a Ben 10 game to play and I am setting up a table with white t shirts and t shirt pens so the kids can make their own shirts. I think they will enjoy that.
Dennis is providing the pizza and besides the cake and juice, that is all we are serving. I think I am just so nervous about this party because Dakota will have kids from his class coming, and their parents and I want to make sure that we make a good impression, for his sake and mine.
I guess really their opinion of me and my party throwing skills are not so important except that it could affect Dakota. It is hard enough being a kid, but I don't want to give anyone any extra ammunition. I am sure I am worrying over nothing, but I can still remember how judgemental other kids and parents can be and it is hard, especially since they are things that are out of his control.

On a side note....
Dalton has taken to climbing out of his crib (actually it is more like hurling himself out onto the floor) and now he wants to sleep in the room with his brothers. At first I was leery of this idea, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Their room is only for sleeping not for playing and there are 3 beds in there. Plus if they are all in there then I can make the nursery into a gym. Win Win situation I think.

Excuse this house

Some houses try to hide the fact
That children shelter there,
Ours boasts it quite openly,
The signs are everywhere.

For smears are on the windows,
Little smudges are on the doors
I should apologize, I guess
For toys strew on the floor.

But I sat down with my child
And we played and laughed and read
And if the doorbell doesn’t shine,
His eyes will shine instead.

For when at times I’m forced to choose
The one job or the other,
I’d like to cook and clean and scrub,
But first I’ll be a mother.
_______________________
What Did I Do Today
Author - Unknown

Today I left some dishes dirty,
The bed got made around 3:30.
The diapers soaked a little longer,
The odor grew a little stronger.
The crumbs I spilled the day before
Are staring at me from the floor.
The fingerprints there on the wall
Will likely be there still next fall.
The dirty streaks on those windowpanes
Will still be there next time it rains.
Shame on you, you sit and say,
Just what did you do today?

I held a baby till she slept,
I held a toddler while he wept.
I played a game of hide and seek,
I squeezed a toy so it would squeak.
I pulled a wagon, sang a song,
Taught a child right from wrong.
What did I do this whole day through?
Not much that shows, I guess that's true.
Unless you think that what I've done,
Might be important to someone
With deep green eyes and soft brown hair,
If that is true... I've done my share.

My Blog

So I have decided to start blogging. Not because I think what I have to say is interesting or relevant to anyone but me, but because it is going to be my outlet. This is where I will be able to put down my thoughts and feelings, tell the crazy stories of what my children say and do, and this is my way of documenting a time that right now is slowly draining the life out of me, but I know I will look back on this time as the happiest of my life.

I have blogged on social networking sites before, and I am going to try to figure out how to import those.