Just 'cause she dances Go-Go, that don't make her a Ho, NO

So I have been taking Pole Aerobics classes, and let me tell you that they are kicking my ass.  It is a great workout and I am learning a lot of things, but man am I sore.  There are days the Husband has to push me out of bed because I cannot even get up.  I am covered in bruises, and quite frankly, I am not feeling any sexier.  That being said, I LOVE THE HELL OUT OF THESE CLASSES. 
It is not pole dancing, it is pole aerobics.  I am learning tricks on the pole and using them as exercise.  We do crunches, squats, lunges, and all kinds of other things that you cannot imagine.  It is fun, so it does not seem like a workout.  Ok that is a lie.  There are parts that feel like a workout.  The squats and crunches:TORTURE.  I guess I should remind everyone out there that I am a complete d-bag when it comes to working out.  I whine worse than my children.  The last class I told the instructor that I hated her a few times, tried to bribe her to stop the pain, and at one point sat down and refused to participate.  I am a tool.  But at the end of the day I appreciate her pushing me, and am thankful for all I have learned.  But for that hour while she is trying to make my body bend in ways it doesn't and is pushing me harder than I have ever been pushed, I would like to tie her to the pole by her labia and force her to listen to endless hours of Nickleback and Creed. 
Here are some benefits to the classes: 1) My husband definitely does not mind forking out the money for these classes as he blindly believes it will lead to some forking for him later on.  2)  It encourages me to workout on days that I am not in class and I feel motivated to finally lose the pregnancy weight (can I still call it that after so long?!!?)  3) it is a fun way to exercise and 4) It definitely is a great conversation starter.  "Me?  Oh the workout clothes, and the bruises that cover my body?  Oh I have just been pole dancing, no biggie"  5) It is a great way to spend time with girlfriends
Here are some cons:  1) It can get pricey and going more than once a week is not really option for me at this point  2) The classroom is wall to wall mirrors and the only thing worse than hanging from a pole is being forces to look at my pastey white ass hanging from the pole  3)  It has set me up for some unrealistic expectations from the husband
So obviously the pros outweigh the cons, and this blog was written for the sole purpose of encouraging other ladies to look into these classes.  They are amazing and will really change your life, whether you are looking to lose weight, get fit, or get sexy! 

Visit their website if you are interested:
http://www.vepolefitness.com/

 

If only I had a crystal ball...

Now I know you may find this hard to believe, but I am not a perfect parent, far from it, but I know what I want my children to be like as adults, and I try my hardest to teach them those things.  While I obviously want them to be healthy, happy, blah blah blah....the normal things parents want, I also want other more oddly specific things for them.
I want them to be self confident.  When you have a high self esteem, the world really is your oyster.  I have struggled with low self esteem and it can make you do things you do not want to do or not do things you do want to do.  I have always wanted to be that person that just says "Eff it.  This is me, and if you do not like it, bite me."  And while I say that, I do not really mean it.  I really mean "I am very insecure about myself and I desperately want you to like me."  I do not want my children to be that way.
I want them to have a sense of humor.  Not just be able to make a joke, but to take jokes too.  I am the funniest person I know, and I hope they take after me.
I want them to stay current on world events.  I find it extremely difficult to have conversations with people who do not know/care what is going on around them, and I want more than that for my boys.  While I am not obsessed with CNN or Fox News, I do try to stay current on major events from politics to pop culture.  Obviously they are too little now, but when they are grown I want them to know what is going on in the world as well as what D List celebrity just overdosed or got caught getting out of a car without any undergarments on.  It helps you be able to hold a conversation in different settings.
I want them to demonstrate compassion for others.  I was always taught to have joy in your life you must rank the importance of things in your life as Jesus - Others - Yourself, and I still believe that.  Nothing is more deplorable than those who are unable to feel compassion for strangers and those around them.
I want them to take ownership.  We all know those people who "cannot seem to catch a break" and it is never their fault.  Someone else is always the cause for their problems or pain.  At some point you have to have some sort of self awareness and think "What am I doing to contribute to my situation in a positive or negative way?"  Luckily for me, I have a large family who is more than willing to let you know when it is your fault (I actually think they enjoy it) and I appreciate that very much.  (On a side note, I do not want to be one of those parents who think that their child can do no wrong.  I want to be able to look at a situation for what it truly is, and while admitting that my child is wrong, does not mean that I will not support them or still love them just as much. )

I would much rather they are the person being picked on than the bully.  My husband strongly disagrees with me on this point.  While I do not want them to be in either situation, and I certainly do not wish upon them to be tortured by school bullies, I do have a reason for my madness.  First, as much as it hurts me even now to imagine them being bullied, it hurts me even more to think about them being the one inflicting that kind of pain on someone else.  I know that my boys will be strong minded and could handle whatever any bully throws at them, and will have our support no matter what.  There are other kids out there who are alone in the world, with no support group, and the thought of one of my boys doing something to make those kids feel even more alone, kills me inside.  I was often bullied in elementary and middle school for my hair, my crazy teeth, my height, being too skinny (Man, would I love to have that problem again), and for being an all-around dork.  It was not until my athleticism caught up to me that the bullying stopped.  I came into my own and found my place in the school hierarchy, and it was because of that bullying that I became stronger, more tolerant, and learned to not pick on those who are less fortunate.  (Also, my parents taught me all of those things as well from an early age.)  It was when I could unbraid my hair after a long day at school and on the bus, find the hidden treasures that people stuck in my braids (gum wrappers, pennies, notes telling me to kill myself, etc…) and only feel empathy for them and how sad their lives must be to have nothing better to do than to pick on me, that I knew I would be ok, and better because of it all.

Now if only there were a manual to show me how to ensure that my children grow to have all of these qualities.  I know that I do not always make the best decisions as a parent (What? Like I am the only parent who has ever threatened to junk punch their kid for throwing a tantrum?!?), and I have to learn from my mistakes, but man there are not enough words to express how much I love those boys and the joy they bring to my life.  While they bring a lot of stress, chaos, and make having a wine night with my girlfriends more of a necessity that a desire, they also make me feel so loved and amazing.  To watch them grow and mature is the most amazing thing ever.  If nothing else, when all is said and done, I hope that above all else they know how much I love them and how blessed I am to have them in my life. 

How to be a good wife

I find that with a full time job and three small kids, it is easy to get so wrapped up in being a mommy and a career woman, that I forget to be a wife. Or even sometimes confuse being a mother with a wife. They are not the same thing. I am very fortunate to have a wonderful husband that supports me and the children and is very laid back and easy going. I am so fortunate that sometimes I forget that because he does not complain, that he does not have needs or desires that need met. I forget that maybe he misses his wife/partner/friend and needs a little bit of the "old days" back in his life. I am not talking strictly sexual here, I am talking about that Best Friend he used to have in me. The person who listened to him and cared for him. As I reflect back, I find that lately when he comes to me, I greet him with what bills need paid, what kids need punished, what the changes to the family calendar are, how I need help with chores, and sex?!? Forget about it. That is just one more thing on my "To do" list.
But that is not fair of me. I feel like I carry the world on my shoulders, but why is that? Have I asked him for help or for his input on how things can run more smoothely? Have I asked him what I can do for him to help him with being a full time daddy and full time career man (The hardest working man I know, might I add). And have I told him how proud I am of him for the wonderful man he has become and the amazing father he is? NO!! I let my goals, visions, anxiety, and fears take the front seat and left him hanging on to the tailpipe, just trying to catch a ride.
So I came across a campaign on how to be a better wife. I have missed some of the activities since I discovered it late, but I am going to pick up where I can now, and I encourage all of you to do the same. It is the least we can do for the men in our lives.


How to be a better wife:

June 28 – Ask your husband every morning how you can pray for him that day. Bonus: Fast and pray for him one day this week.

July 12 – Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask him to prioritize them for you of what is important to him. For example – a clean home, home cooked dinner, coupon clipping, service at church, having friends over for dinner, watching/doing sports with him, etc.

July 19 – Make him a priority. Ask him what his favorite dinner, dessert and drink are. Be sure to serve him all three one night this week. Bonus: cook his favorite dishes all week long! (Chicken Casserole, Chinese food and burgers, here we come!!)

July 26 – Support his vision. Discuss his vision for your family. Where does he see your family in 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years.

August 2 – R-E-S-P-E-C-T! No complaining, criticizing, rolling your eyes, nagging, or giving him any friction this week. Enjoy a week of peace in your home! (No friction at home- yay! Except, maybe in between the sheets, if you know what I mean! Wink, wink!)

6 year old attitudes

How do you teach your child the difference between being funny and being rude? Or when something is funny or when it is being disrespectful? Dakota is having a hard time with this. I know he is not trying to be disrespectful, but he is. He thinks he is funny. As someone who has had the same problem my entire life, I am still not sure how to coach him. There are many times when I think I am being HIGHlarious, but others find it offensive.
So I have tried just reprimanding him when he acts this way so that maybe he will learn, but he is so sensitive. He got in trouble for his mouth twice this morning, and he was grounded. He wrapped himself in the covers and said "I wish I was never alive on this planet!" and the inner mom in me came out and I replied "If you keep acting up and saying things like that, I will give you a reason to not want to be alive on this planet!" What the..... Why would I say that? It certainly did not help the situation, yet it came out of my mouth before I could stop it. While I am not a traditional parent, and I often tell my children to "Shut their pie holes," I typically am not one to resort back to those old cliches. I try hard to not say things like "Because I said so" or "because I am the parent, that's why," but sometimes they are the only appropriate responses.
I have found shaming to be a powerful parenting tool (don't judge me) and will say "Jesus is watching you and that makes him sad" or "when you act that way it makes mommy sad, do you want Mommy to cry?" I am sure Dr. Phil would have a lot to say about that. Well, that has been my morning so far, if you do not like it, you can shut your pie hole.

?!?!?!?!

What do you do when your two year old has a temper tantrum at the ballpark, and bitch slaps you twice in the face and then spits on you? I went with the cursing under the breath, threatening spankings for when we were no longer in the public eye, and then finally dumped a bottle of water on his head. I am not sure why that seemed appropriate but it did. Dalton is normally a little "head strong" but this was downright defiant and it really caught me off-guard. I was "That parent" all of the sudden and I did not like that feeling one bit.

How could this cute little face, cause so much trouble?

Chaotic....party of 5

Well I have finally updated again. I know it is probably futile since I have only 3 followers, but it feels good to post. I would love to blog semi-daily but it is hard to find the time. I am going to try to do better though. Lately we have been super busy with Dillon and Dakota both playing baseball. We spend at least 4 days at the ballpark. It is a lot of fun to watch them play, but this has been a hot summer so Dalton is not a big fan of hanging out at the ballpark.

Our house is slightly chaotic right now because all of three of the boys are at precarious ages. Dakota is 6 1/2 (very important to remember the 1/2) and is starting to get a little bit of an attitude. He has always been my sensitive one, but now he is adding attitude to the list. He has a hard time distinguishing between what is funny, what is rude, and what would be funny as an adult but is rude coming from a six-year-old. He is also starting to get a little frustrated with his little brothers and their lack of interest in things he likes, or when they have too much interest in things he likes. He is excited about starting the 1st grade in the fall. He is also a little water bug and loves to swim. He would do it all day everyday if he could. He is fearless on the diving board. He is also the one that is most like me at his age, and some like me now :) He loves movies, video games, and board games, and except for swimming would rather be inside playing a game, than outside. He cannot stand to disappoint someone or hurt their feelings. He is creative and smart and really knows how to manipulate me ;)

Dillon is 4 years old and for the Parrott boys that can be the equivalent of the terrible twos. He is ornery and defiant. He is also loving and kind. He is starting to come into his own and develop his own personality apart from his brothers. He loves to be outside and playing. He is also a water bug. He learned how to swim yesterday thanks to Carrie Thomas, and he is really excited about that. He is a big helper when it is time to clean up. He is also is a great helper for Marmee and Poppa working in the yard. He even helps Poppy build things. He is obsessed with bubble gum and it has become a useful tool in bribery. He reminds me a lot of how Dennis' parents say he was when he was little. He also tans like his dad. He is so dark, it makes me jealous. He loves playing sports, running around, and just being active. He also loves curling up in a ball in your lap when he is tired.

Dalton will be two at the end of next month, and whoa, he is a wild man. He is always into something. He is always making messes. While you are cleaning up one mess he is making another. He is definitely the most defiant. He does not like the water or swimming, which makes going to the pool difficult. He fights bedtime like we were sending him to the torture chamber, but when he falls asleep he is out cold (and snores.) He has the most beautiful blond hair and blue eyes. And his smile will melt your heart. He is really talking up a storm lately. He just makes me crazy though how he does not mind. He tells us no and if he gets a spanking, he spanks back. I am still trying to find a discipline method that works on him and teaches better behavior. I know a lot of it is my fault for giving into his demands in order to avoid the tantrums. I know that is not the proper way to handle things but with our lives being so chaotic, it was the easier choice. I know, I know it is not the right choice and now I am paying for it. And it is not Dalton's fault that he is the youngest of three kids. I welcome any advice on dealing with a head strong two year old.

So all of that to say that I have to adapt my parenting style with each kid. What works with one does not work with the others. It is a strange thing being a parent. No one ever tells you about the overwhelming amounts of guilt that come with parenting. I worry that every mistake or choice I make will negatively impact them. Most parents start college funds, but I have "psychiatric funds" for the boys. I feel like I mess up so much that they will get more use out of therapy than college. (I kid, I kid) Sometimes I feel that by working I am short changing them on life, but other times I feel like I am a better parent when I work. I do not know why I even think about the pros and cons of being a WM and a SAHM because I have no choice. Our family relies on my income in addition to my husbands. Also, it makes me feel important. I want my boys to know that women can have roles outside of the home and that I can be just as successful as a man. I think it is important to teach the boys how to respect women. (***NOTE: I in no way am insinuating that being a SAHM is not a respectful role, hard role, or extremely important. I did it for a year and it was more than I could handle. I think it is a strong woman who can stay at home full-time, and I consider it a career. It is just not the right career for me....right now)

So that is it for now. I am hoping to get my blog a little more attention and hear from other mothers of young children on how they handle the daily battles, and from mothers of grown children who have been in my shoes. I would also like to hear from fathers about the role they play in the household. Gone are the days of men working and bringing in the money and leaving the rest to their wives. I know some families still function that way, but Dennis and I have taken a more non-traditional approach in a lot of areas. He is just as active as I am with the boys. While I am the one who makes dinner and he is the one who always takes out the trash (eventually) we have chosen those duties for ourselves and never felt as they were assigned chores based on our gender. When Dennis is home he does just as much diaper changing as I do, and he has probably handled bath time more than I have. He goes to school plays, PTO meetings, class parties, and anything else the boys are involved in. He is an amazing father and I am very fortunate to have him in my life. We compliment each other well. While we are not perfect parents, we do give the boys unconditional love and try to teach them how to be good human beings and Christians, and I think that at the end of the day, that is what is important.

Ok well peace out blogosphere. Hopefully I will be talking to you soon, and hopefully next time be a little funnier, a little more insightful, and actually have a point!