If only I had a crystal ball...

Now I know you may find this hard to believe, but I am not a perfect parent, far from it, but I know what I want my children to be like as adults, and I try my hardest to teach them those things.  While I obviously want them to be healthy, happy, blah blah blah....the normal things parents want, I also want other more oddly specific things for them.
I want them to be self confident.  When you have a high self esteem, the world really is your oyster.  I have struggled with low self esteem and it can make you do things you do not want to do or not do things you do want to do.  I have always wanted to be that person that just says "Eff it.  This is me, and if you do not like it, bite me."  And while I say that, I do not really mean it.  I really mean "I am very insecure about myself and I desperately want you to like me."  I do not want my children to be that way.
I want them to have a sense of humor.  Not just be able to make a joke, but to take jokes too.  I am the funniest person I know, and I hope they take after me.
I want them to stay current on world events.  I find it extremely difficult to have conversations with people who do not know/care what is going on around them, and I want more than that for my boys.  While I am not obsessed with CNN or Fox News, I do try to stay current on major events from politics to pop culture.  Obviously they are too little now, but when they are grown I want them to know what is going on in the world as well as what D List celebrity just overdosed or got caught getting out of a car without any undergarments on.  It helps you be able to hold a conversation in different settings.
I want them to demonstrate compassion for others.  I was always taught to have joy in your life you must rank the importance of things in your life as Jesus - Others - Yourself, and I still believe that.  Nothing is more deplorable than those who are unable to feel compassion for strangers and those around them.
I want them to take ownership.  We all know those people who "cannot seem to catch a break" and it is never their fault.  Someone else is always the cause for their problems or pain.  At some point you have to have some sort of self awareness and think "What am I doing to contribute to my situation in a positive or negative way?"  Luckily for me, I have a large family who is more than willing to let you know when it is your fault (I actually think they enjoy it) and I appreciate that very much.  (On a side note, I do not want to be one of those parents who think that their child can do no wrong.  I want to be able to look at a situation for what it truly is, and while admitting that my child is wrong, does not mean that I will not support them or still love them just as much. )

I would much rather they are the person being picked on than the bully.  My husband strongly disagrees with me on this point.  While I do not want them to be in either situation, and I certainly do not wish upon them to be tortured by school bullies, I do have a reason for my madness.  First, as much as it hurts me even now to imagine them being bullied, it hurts me even more to think about them being the one inflicting that kind of pain on someone else.  I know that my boys will be strong minded and could handle whatever any bully throws at them, and will have our support no matter what.  There are other kids out there who are alone in the world, with no support group, and the thought of one of my boys doing something to make those kids feel even more alone, kills me inside.  I was often bullied in elementary and middle school for my hair, my crazy teeth, my height, being too skinny (Man, would I love to have that problem again), and for being an all-around dork.  It was not until my athleticism caught up to me that the bullying stopped.  I came into my own and found my place in the school hierarchy, and it was because of that bullying that I became stronger, more tolerant, and learned to not pick on those who are less fortunate.  (Also, my parents taught me all of those things as well from an early age.)  It was when I could unbraid my hair after a long day at school and on the bus, find the hidden treasures that people stuck in my braids (gum wrappers, pennies, notes telling me to kill myself, etc…) and only feel empathy for them and how sad their lives must be to have nothing better to do than to pick on me, that I knew I would be ok, and better because of it all.

Now if only there were a manual to show me how to ensure that my children grow to have all of these qualities.  I know that I do not always make the best decisions as a parent (What? Like I am the only parent who has ever threatened to junk punch their kid for throwing a tantrum?!?), and I have to learn from my mistakes, but man there are not enough words to express how much I love those boys and the joy they bring to my life.  While they bring a lot of stress, chaos, and make having a wine night with my girlfriends more of a necessity that a desire, they also make me feel so loved and amazing.  To watch them grow and mature is the most amazing thing ever.  If nothing else, when all is said and done, I hope that above all else they know how much I love them and how blessed I am to have them in my life.