Relationships

Church this Sunday was really powerful and really struck a chord with me. The series we are in now is called “Forces that Form Your Future”. We have covered the Force of Habit and this Sunday was the Force of Relationships. It was not just about “Romantic Relationships” but all relationships in your life. It really made me stop and think if I am the type of person I want to be in all of my relationships. (Especially my relationship with God)


Everything God does in your life will flow through the conduit of your relationships.

The Bible talks about having a “servant attitude” and I used to scoff at that statement. I would think “I am no one’s servant. I am a strong independent woman.” But listening to the service this Sunday, I think I finally got, for the first time, what that really meant. The Bible does not say for a woman to be a servant to her husband because she is less than him, but to show her respect and support. The Bible also says for the husband to love his wife as God loves the church. And when you value yourself enough, you have no problem with the servant attitude.

One thing my pastor said that hit home with me was “Every good deed is seed.” That means that you never know when that one good deed you did will be repaid to you or you will need some grace when you have fallen. I feel I spent so much of my life keeping tally against the wrong things people did to me or that I did to myself, that I missed out an opportunity to be the best “me” I could be.

I do not look back on any of this with regret, because that does no good, but more with hope for the future. I am excited to mend broken relationships with old friends, strengthen relationships with current friends and family, and one day, be the type of wife God called me to be. “(love)…keeps no record of wrongs.” I want to be the best wife, mother, friend, sister, cousin, daughter, etc… that I can. I want to be the person who builds people up, not lets them down. I want to be a giver, not a taker.



Inner Keys to Great Relationships

1. Am I willing to Change?

“Change your life, not just your clothes. Come back to God, your God.” (Joel 2:13)

“So why does this people go backwards, and just keep on going-backwards? They stubbornly hold on to their illusions, refuse to change direction.” (Jeremiah 8:15)

Man, that statement above is powerful. How many times have we ourselves, or have we watched someone, make a bad decision, and then just keep going with it, refusing to be wrong, and turn around and come back to the good? We can be so stupid and stubborn.

2. Am I willing to play 2nd Fiddle?

“For even I, the Son of Man, came her not to be served, but to serve others, and to give my life as ransom for many.” (Matt 20:28)

And this next bible verse really hit home with me. I always talk about wanting to be the priority in someone’s life, but I felt it was owed to me, not that I had worked for it. But God says, “…Whoever wants to be the most important person must take the last place and be a servant to everyone else.” (Mark 9:35)

READ THAT AGAIN!!!! How many of us have ever truly had that mentality? I know I haven’t, and I know I won’t change overnight, but I am going to work on this.

3. Am I willing to let go of the past?

“…how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven? Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly, try seventy times seven” (Matt 18:21-22)

Forgiveness? I can do that. I have always found it easy to forgive, but forgetting is another story. I do not mean that you should completely forget about the wrongs of the past, we learn from them and grow from them, but we cannot let them continue to consume us or use it as leverage against someone way down the line.



Outer Keys to Great Relationships

1. I will nurture my important relationships

“So let us agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault.” (Romans 14:19)

This makes me think of times when I have said hurtful things out of anger, and regretted it immediately, but you cannot take words back. Or the times I neglected to call friends or support them because I had something else going on. I have nurtured my important relationships like I should. I have managed them, controlled them, but not nurtured.

2. I will restore my broken relationships

Now this is not always as easy as it sounds. What if the other person does not want to restore the relationship? Well there is nothing you can do about that, but you can always make it known that you are willing to make amends for the past, or offer forgiveness, or whatever it takes to right the wrongs, no matter who is at fault. So I want to say that I want to restore my broken relationships and make sure that they are fixed for the future. Things won’t ever be as they were, but maybe they can be better.

3. I will sever harmful relationships

“So leave the corruption and compromise; leave it for good. Don’t link up with those who will pollute you” (2 Cor 6:17)

It can really be hard to sever a harmful relationship. A lot of times because we have put so much effort into trying to make the relationship healthy, that we feel like failures by quitting. But we have to pray and think and determine if this relationship is a benefit to our lives.

4. I will reach for new meaningful relationships

“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead I have called you friend” (John 15:15)

I know starting new relationships can be hard. Whether it is dating, or making new friends, or whatever the case may be, it is hard to put yourself out there, but just think of all of the wonderful people out there that you could be missing out on.

I am not perfect, far from. I wish I had heard this sermon 7 years ago, but alas, I didn’t and I am where I am now. I have a wonderful group of friends and family and 3.5 of the most amazing kids ever. I am so blessed it is ridiculous. But now I feel I need to be a blessing to others. I need to reach out to build others up instead of putting them down to build myself up. All of this starts with having self worth, which I have always struggled with, but day by day I realize that I am worthy, because no matter what is said about me or done to me, nothing will change the fact that I am a child of God. That is just amazing.



So to all of the people out there I am in relationships, I hope I can build you up and serve you as the Lord served, and those in relationships that have been broken, I hope I can mend them and show you the power of Christ’s love in myself.

**Please ignore typos