I grew up in church and thought I know everything the bible had to say and boy was I wrong. Typically at church they tell you of the immoralities of sex before marriage, adultery, impure thoughts, etc....What they RARELY follow that up with is what God's will is for married couples.
1 Corinthians 7:3-111
The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy, which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband also gives authority over his body to his wife. So do not deprive each other of sexual relations.
The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time, so they can give themselves more completely to prayer. Afterward they should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt them because of their lack of self-control. This is only my suggestion. It's not meant to be an absolute rule….Now; I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.
Basically Paul is saying that within the bedroom a husband and wife are equals. (Paul is quite egalitarian) He is also teaching that married couples should have sex, it should be pleasurable, and it IS important to the relationship.
WHY DO THEY NOT PREACH ABOUT THIS? Do preachers and other church leaders have any idea how many married people still suffer from guilt when it relates to sex and marriage? I was one of those people. It is hard to be told your entire life that sex is wrong and then be expected to just drop that notion once you get married.
Matthew 19: 6 says
So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.
Basically, the Bible is very clear that marriage is sacred, permanent, and a union that God intends to last forever. He gives clear instructions how a wife should love her husband and how a husband should love his wife. I admit that during my marriage I did not adopt the servant attitude that I should. A husband IS the head of the household and should be treated with the respect that entails. In return, a Husband should love his wife has God loved the church. (And that is a lot)
It is God's will that in every marriage the husband and wife to love each other with a passion that continues to grow. I was easily distracted by this thought by work, kids, life, etc... but God's will is clear. We must become the husband/wife God has commanded us to be in the Scripture, and to apply every principle of behavior from the Word of God to your life. Without question, you will enjoy God's blessing and favor.
Again, as I have said in posts before, that I wish I had read, studied, and lived the words that I now know to be true. However, I have started practicing these things not because of my situation, goals, or dreams; but it was God has commanded me to do.
My hope is that someone reading this (if anyone does) is able to find a renewed vigor in their marriage and avoid the pitfalls and mistakes that I and many other people make. The path God wants us to take is clear. God does not promise it will be easy, but he does promise it will be worth it.
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