To My Children

To my children:


I want you to know that mommy loves you so much. You are the reason I wake up in the mornings and you have made my life complete. I would not change one single thing about you. I am sorry for the hurt that you are about to experience. I wish I could take all of your pain. I wish there was something I could do to keep out family as it is, but I can't. But this is not your fault. Mommy did not make daddy happy even though she tried so very hard.

Sometimes grown-ups do dumb things, but it does not mean we don’t love you. I want you to know that I have tried so very very hard to stop this from happening. That I have endured tremendous pain to try to spare you from this hurt. If there was anything I could have done that made this outcome different, I would have done it. I would have done anything to protect you.  But my efforts apparently came too late.

I will always do my best to protect you and to love you. To let you know that you are loved and special. I know your daddy will do that too. I know there will be times you miss your daddy. I will miss him too. But know that this was nothing we could control, and it had nothing to do with you. I hope one day you understand that you are not to blame for any of this, and if you need someone to blame, then you can blame me. I will take the pain and blame if it makes you happy.

I hope you have the best life possible, and I am sorry I cannot give you more. I wanted nothing more than to grow old with your father and to give you an amazing life. It kills me to think that you may have no memories of us together as a family, and that this beautiful baby girl growing inside me, will never have the chance to experience life with both of her parents together.  I am sorry that you won't have that now, but know that it was not from a lack of trying. But your daddy and I will always be there for you no matter what, even if we are not living in the same house.

Don't be scared about any of this, because we will be ok. We have each other and that is more than most have. We will make sure that no matter what else is going on around us, that our home is always filled with love and laughter. That is something I can give to you that no one can take away. 


I want you to know that whatever emotions you feel, it is ok.  You are going to be hurt, angry, sad, and confused.  I pray that you turn those feelings over to God and trust in Him to lead you through.  I pray that you lean on me and your dad for support, and the rest of your family.  I pray that you can smile through the pain, and go on and live life to become the best "you" possible and be happy.  That is all I want for you, happiness. 


I love you,

Mommy