S.I.L. Part 6 - The final chapter (for now)

If words like "primal Sex" and "boobs" bother you...do not read any farther (and lighten up a little)

This is all I have for my "Suck it List" thus far.  I have some ideas for some other things to add, but for right now, this is all I have completely worked through.  See my prior blogs to catch up on the first 5 installments.

This last batch of ideas is by far my favorite.

27. Take my kids to the circus-So those of you who know me already know, but I suffer from Coulrophobia, the fear of clowns. Hence, I have never taken my kids to the circus. They have been before, but not with me. I want to take them to the real deal circus. I do not expect not to be afraid, but to fight that fear, for my kids.

p.s. this is a legitimate fear. Clowns kill people. Fact.

28. Get a boob job-What? I am human, and when it is time to wear that bikini, I want a brand new pair of tatas to go with it. While I do not want a huge size (a C is plenty for me) I want them perky, and I want people to know I paid good money for them or found a guy to pay good money for them. I want them to feel real (And yes, I will offer for people to touch), but when you look at me in a bikini instead of people asking “Do you think those are real?” I want them to say “I have got to get the name of her doctor!”

29. Teach a college course-I want to know so much about a certain subject that the Board of Regents deems me an appropriate person to mold the minds of our youth (Scary thought huh?). I want to inspire a student to follow my footsteps in the field of {insert specialty here}. I also want to either be the cool teacher (not a bird class, but a cool teacher) or the really tough teacher that the students hate at first but come to realize down the road that I was an important figure in who they have become. Then they thank me when they hit it big in whatever it is they do, name their first born after me, and send me cards on my birthday.(preferably with money in it)

30. See things from someone else’s point of view-This may come as a shock to some of you, but I can be kind of stubborn. I may or may not always think I am right. (But I really do not see the problem, if you are always right-which I am) I want to truly take the time to see something from someone else’s view. I may not agree with them in the end, but I will have a better perspective of where they are coming from. Areas that are not included in this are religion and politics.

31. Let you know exactly what I feel- Yes this “you” is specific. There is only one “you” in this scenario. I want to tell you exactly how I feel. I want you to know, in excruciating detail, how much your betrayal has hurt me, and forever altered who I am. I want you to know how much it has affected my children. I want to let you know how truly/madly/completely I loved you, and how happy we could have been (We could have been so happy.  The stuff fairy tales are made of.  We could have been the forever type love that is so rare). I hope by the time I am at a point to do this, that I can also tell you, and sincerely believe, that I am better for what I went through. That I am stronger. That I do not need you. And that I have realized what true love really is, and I am completely and deliriously happy. I hope this happens sooner rather than later, but right now, I am not at that point yet. I am still too confused mad bitter angry miffed pissed destroyed consumed hurt.

32. Take a compliment/gift-I know that sometimes I seem ungrateful or entitled. I truly do not feel that way; I just have a really hard time accepting a compliment or a gift. I get all nervous like, and I don’t want to come off as arrogant or needy, but want to be thankful, and it just comes across as bitch. I am working on it.  Really.  I am.

33. Have music video sex- OK, you know what I am talking about? (You may not have experienced it, I haven't but I know what it is) That sex where words aren’t necessary. Where body language, scenery, a public place or counter top, and Enrique Iglesias are all you need. Primal sex. No holds barred sex. The sex that leaves no doubt about how you feel about the other person and breaks down all barriers. The sex that you will never be too tired for. I want to know what that is like, even if just once. But hopefully over, and over, and over, and….you get the point. (Note for those who get their feathers ruffled easy. I am having my 4th child, so I am no longer a virgin. SHOCK. And the man in this scenario is my future husband. (Sidebar-my future husband is amazing. I cannot wait for you all to meet him. I know everything about him, except his current location and name)