scars

This past month at church, we have been talking about “scars”. Every scar has a story…a risk that was taken, a good idea gone bad, the wrong place at the wrong time, a crash and burn moment, a deep wound, a slow healing, a memory.


Pastor Danny has been covering how scars serve as reminders to help better us. To remind us of decisions we made, or show us how far we have come. Some of the things in the series have been utterly amazing, but this last week, some things really hit home.

How Pain Becomes Passion and Purpose

Mourn your loss, but turn it into movement.

That is what I want to do. I do not want to eternally grieve over what I have lost but turn it into something better. Candy Lightner, could have crawled up into a shell of sorrow when her daughter Cari was killed by a drunk driver in 1980. But she didn’t. She used her pain to help save others and founded M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers). While I am not comparing my situation to what Candy went through, because I cannot even fathom the loss of a child, but what life has presented me with over the last year has been the hardest thing I have gone through personally, and I do not want it to be in vain. I am not suggesting I will start a group for people in my shoes, but maybe start smaller. Maybe start at home, by upping my game a little, and being the best parent I can be so that I raise children who will not repeat the mistakes of their parents. I want to break the cycle. Maybe I reach out to people at church or in the community who are hurting and help them to deal with their pain and sense of loss.

2 Samuel talks about when David had an affair that resulted in his mistress becoming pregnant. The child died very early on and 2 Samuel 12:22-24 says:

He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.


Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon.”

Think about that. David sinned by having an affair, and his consequence was the loss of his child. But when he made amends and went to his wife, she became pregnant and had a very healthy child, named Solomon.

The way I like to rephrase that is that David repented and his wife gave birth to WISDOM!!! King Solomon represents wisdom throughout the bible, yet he almost never was. David could have been stubborn and not repented, or gotten angry with God for letting his other child die, but he didn’t. He pressed forward, and the world is certainly glad he did.

Press through Pain; Don’t Medicate the Pain
I am not trying to argue for or against prescription meds that a qualified doctor says you need. I am referring to medicating your pain with illegal drugs, alcohol, food, sex, etc… Any other unhealthy outlet. You CAN get through anything as long as you have faith.

Pain Threshold = You’ll only grow in life, in love, in career, in your purpose to the level of your pain threshold.

How much can you take? I bet it is a lot more than you think. I never thought I would make it is far as I have, in such good condition, but I get a little stronger every day. (Thanks to God and a wonderful support group) I get a little more confident every day. I get a little better every day. I am growing to be the woman God has called me to be. There is a WINNER in you and a LOSER in you. The one you listen to the most determines your future.

This is an easy choice to make. I am going to be a winner.

Connect You Pain to a Purpose and Passion

This kind of relates to earlier about not suffering in vain. I just try to look at it as I am going to suffer, this hurt is going to happen, so what am I going to do about it? I am going to suffer for nothing, or am I going to bring some hope out of the pain? I want there to be a lesson in this. Of course I am only human, there are times that I want to say “Take all of the pain back Lord. I will live a mediocre life, and forego the amazing life I know you will reward me with, if you just take this pain away.” But I know that is not what is meant to be. God has shown that he sees me as a special child, strong enough to handle the pain, and wise enough to turn this test into a testimony. I cannot argue with the Big Guy.

Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest. (PS 126:5-6)