What I should have said

What I should have said:
I hate you. I hate you so completely and absolutely, for doing this to us. For being too damn scared to fight for our family. For being so damn selfish. I hope our children are nothing like you. I hope one day, when they are older, they learn the truth and see you for who you really are; a cowardly, selfish SOB. I hope they still love you, but no longer idolize you. I hope one day you regret this so badly that you can’t eat or sleep. I hope you cry yourself to sleep every night, just like we do now. Who walks out on their pregnant wife and three small children? You can say you are leaving me and not them, go screw yourself. That is not how life works. You never even tried to save our marriage or let me know you were unhappy. You continuously announced your undying love for me and desire to have more kids. I was not given the chance to change. You never tried, and that is unacceptable. How could you not care that you will be leaving me and your children so broke? That we are losing our home. And no, joint custody won’t fix that; we will still have the same amount of bills. And no, joint custody is not the best answer, and this is not about revenge. This is about providing our children with some level of stability. I am the constant in their lives. I am not saying you don’t love them, I have never said that. I know you would die for them, but when are you going to live for them? You say you put them first but you are the only one who believes that. If you were putting them first you would not have an 18 year old girlfriend who is closer in age to them than to you. A girl with such moral issues and daddy issues that she would never be allowed around our kids. While I am agonizing over how to protect them and provide for them, you are moving inn with her and trying to start another family. You ARE still married. Is that putting them first? No you are thinking of yourself and trying to justify your perverse actions. I hope your “new friends” soon tire of you and you are all alone. I hope you get fat again. I hope you are so broke that you cannot always afford to eat. I hope you go bald. I hope one day you realize that you had it all and want to come back, only to realize we are gone. I hope you find Jesus, but only after you have gone through hell.
What I said:
I love you, please don’t leave.